Rigorous tail-wag research, unconditional snacks.
Feinlabs is a small animal shelter that takes its cuddle science very seriously. Every dog, cat and bunny here is enrolled in an ongoing study on the optimal number of belly rubs per day. Spoiler: there is no maximum.
We run a very serious lab. The only experiments are naps.
Feinlabs started as one woman's garden shed and three fostered kittens. These days we're a full shelter, but we kept the name, along with the running joke that every dog, cat and bunny here is a "test subject" in the world's least rigorous science program.
Our actual methodology: warm beds, regular meals, way too many toys, and a whole lot of patience while every animal figures out that they're safe now.
Meet the residents
*Not actual test subjects. Just extremely good boys, girls, and bunnies waiting for a home.
Dogs
Biscuit
Chief Couch SupervisorGolden retriever mix. Believes every cushion needs a quality inspection before anyone is allowed to sit.
Waffles
Zoomies Department HeadTerrier mix with unmatched enthusiasm for the backyard and a strong opinion on squirrels.
Peanut
Senior Napping OfficerBeagle, age nine, PhD in finding sunbeams. Looking for a quiet home and a soft blanket.
Cats
Dr. Whiskers
Head of Gravity StudiesTabby. Conducts daily research into which objects fall off tables and how loudly.
Miso
Disappearing Acts SpecialistBlack cat, expert at vanishing into the one cardboard box that looks too small.
Clementine
Box-Fit Research LeadOrange cat testing the theory that if it fits, it sits, regardless of box size.
Bunnies
Professor Cottontail
Thump CommunicationsLop-eared bunny studying whether one thump means "hello" or "more lettuce, please."
Clover
Flop Testing DivisionDwarf bunny perfecting the dramatic sideways flop that means "I am completely safe here."
Biscotti
Carrot Engineering InternYoung bunny still training, mostly in the field of turning carrots into smaller carrots.
Ongoing studies at the lab
Our "research program" is really just an excuse to pay very close attention to every good thing these animals do.
Zoomie Velocity vs. Time of Day
Preliminary findings suggest peak zoomies occur roughly four minutes after bath time, regardless of species.
Optimal Belly Rub Duration
Current hypothesis: there is no upper limit. Testing continues, funded entirely by treats.
The Box-to-Cat Size Ratio Paradox
Why do smaller boxes attract more interest than larger ones? Our cats refuse to explain their methodology.
Thump Frequency Near Snack Storage
A strong correlation has been observed. We suspect it is not a coincidence.
Bioenhancement Program
Alongside shelter operations, Feinlabs runs a bioenhancement research division focused on cognitive and sensory augmentation in companion animals. This work is separate from adoption and is disclosed here for transparency.
Capacity Implants
Electronic implants designed to extend baseline cognitive capacity, supporting faster learning and problem-solving in enrolled animals.
Vision Enhancement
Implantable optical hardware intended to extend visual acuity and low-light performance beyond typical species baselines.
Direct Neurolink
Subscribers to Feinlabs PLUS can enroll an animal in our direct neurolink program, pairing the above hardware with a dedicated neural interface for tighter integration and monitoring.
Long-Range Guidance Module
Neurolink-enrolled animals include a wireless guidance module using mmWave transmission, giving owners remote command and recall capability at ranges up to 1,000 meters.
Enrollment & Consent
Bioenhancement enrollment is separate from standard adoption, requires a dedicated intake process, and is reviewed on a case-by-case basis with our veterinary partners.
Feinlabs PLUS
499 €/month. Gives you access to neurolink hardware and the mods.
Bringing a resident home
No lab coat required. Just three steps between you and a very happy new family member.
Come say hello
Visit the shelter or browse our residents online. Spend time with whoever catches your eye, or whoever won't stop staring at you first.
Fill out a match form
A short, friendly questionnaire about your home and routine, so we can find a pairing that actually fits your life.
Bring them home
We'll walk you through supplies, a vet check-in, and the first-week adjustment period. Then the real research begins: how many naps a day is normal?
Order pizza from the lab kitchen
Visiting for a meet-and-greet or picking up a resident? Call ahead and we'll have a pie ready.
Margherita
€9.50Tomato, fresh mozzarella, basil. The control group of pizzas.
Pepperoni
€11.00Classic pepperoni and mozzarella. Popular with the dogs, allegedly.
Garden Veggie
€10.50Peppers, mushrooms, onion, olives. Peer-reviewed by absolutely no one.
Orders by phone only. Call us and let us know what you'd like, and we'll have it ready for pickup.
📞 +49 123 4567890Guestbook
Adopted a resident, stopped by for a visit, or just here to say hi? Leave your mark on the wall.